The Razer of Legions enters the fold(edited)

[Deleted]

:Razer:

:Makaioshin:

:Male:

:456:

:Black and Red, with flecks of Gold:

:Tall Dark Skinned and a general look of brooding about him, Razer standsat six and a half feet tall, weighing in at 245 pounds of sheer muscle. His eyes are a piercing red, he has long Black hair that spike backwards and helps to hide his horns. He is currently wearing a black gi with a read undershirt and barefoot.:

:Razer's Panoply:

:The Void:

:Razer of Legions was a soldier, or as close as one could get among the Makaoishin. Their hate for imprisonment is embodied by him. Having discovered an old abandoned space pod, he has set out from the nether, searching for his opportunity to strike out against the heavens and release his brethren from hell. Razer knows that his power at this point is not enough to mount such an attack, or to release the other Makaioshin from their prison, but he also knows that the Heavens and Hell are not going anywhere, he has time to train his body and his spirit, and will certainly do so.:

:Items:
200x Zenie
2x Senzu Beans
1x One-Use Space Pod
1x Makaioshin War Sword

Read more: wodresurrection.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=newmembers&action=display&thread=1#ixzz2CP6wROzd

[Gray Callahan]

It appears you have copy-pasted the history and techniques...

[Deleted]

Eh? I copy-pasted the template and typed into it...

[Rensou Hiruen]

The amount of effort spent describing the appearance of Razer and the vocabulary used is not reflected at all in your techniques, and it appears to be that two different persons contributed to this application. It appears to be plagiarism.

[Deleted]

I promise I did not plagiarize, but I will change the techniques if that is what is desired.

[Rensou Hiruen]

After googling the proposed techniques, all three show up in the game "Exalted." Sound familiar? I've hammered out the point that you copied the names, and the technique descriptions are a far cry from your writing style in appearance and history.

[Zach]

Cannot start on Earth since he's not an Earth native. We are moving to ban anyone from spawning on Earth who is not native as the majority of the other planets are getting ignored and Earth is highly overpopulated with aliens as it is.

The character sounds very Cane and Able-ish. Perhaps some additional thought and refinement of his history is in order.

Normally I wouldn't poke my two cents in on another administrator's review but my presence was requested.

[Deleted]

Changes made

[Gray Callahan]

Okay. Approved.